Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Hati Bengkak.

Crime Scene

In front of Bangunan Perak Darul Ridzuan (Bangunan SUK), Ipoh.

Witness

Cik Atun and countless other motorists and drivers.

Suspect

Unknown but she was certainly a she. Yes. A she. Positive.

Evidences

Exhibit 1 - White Suzuki Swift with Wilayah's plate number.

Exhibit 2 - Cult of Law sticker at the rear window. Can't tell the university name because it was printed too small, as oppossed to the big letters CULT OF LAW enjoyed. Meh.

Exhibit 3 - Graceful (?) fingers peeking out from the rolled down window holding a plastic lidded cup of iced cappucino or whatever iced beverages they served in Starbucks.

Exhibit 4 - The suspect was wearing big shades, fancy shawl and beyond that I cannot see.

Witness Testimony

It was a very hot day. I was on my way from the General Hospital to my office, driving my humble but very useful Myvi. I was driving safely as there were so many other motorists and drivers on the road. The time was a quarter before 2, so the condition was very much expected.

The road I was travelling had 3 lanes. One for other vehicles to turn left and proceed to Ipoh's Pekan Lama and the other two were straight ahead, heading towards the court, KTMB station as well as Bulatan Bahagia.

I was driving on the middle lane, minding my own business when this white, shiny and dare I say, almost brand new Suzuki Swift swiftly drove past thorugh my car and suddenly nudged her way into my lane.


[Your honour, can I switch to my mother tongue for the rest of my testimony?]

[Permission granted]


Sudahla tak bagi signal, main masuk ikut suka hati macam bagus. Kalau ye pun dah masuk salah lorong, tolonglah bagi signal. Sudah patah ke those graceful fingers nak turn on signal anda tu. Kalau dah takmau guna, tanggalkan je daripada kereta anda yang comel molek tu. Daripada ada tapi tak guna.

Ke sebenarnya anda tu sibuk sangat waving that cheap plastic cup with Starbucks brand in the air, hoping someone will notice and say,

Oh, how cool is that lady! She's drinking Starbucks...!

[Hati membara]

Wey, hello! Aku tak heranla ko setakat nak pakai Suzuki Swift yang berharga kurang daripada RM80 000 tu. Kalau ko setakat nak bagitau the world;

I'm a lawyer. I'm successful because I can drive a 2010 model of Suzuki Swift. I am cool because I drink Starbucks whatevercino.

Tolongla buat perangai macam ni di mana pekan itu engkau yang punya. Tak payahla di tengah-tengah jam macam ni, nak buat perangai tak senonoh macam ni. Aku pun perempuan jugak, aku pun ada kerjaya.

Tolonglah. Buat malu jer.


[Miss Atun, the court need you to speak in English again because you just swore in your mother tongue.]

[I'm sorry your honour, I will not do that again. I choose to speak in Malay because I felt comfortable that way, venting my anger.]


Nasib baik selepas memandu di hadapan kereta aku untuk lima minit, engkau membelok masuk ke Mahkamah Tinggi Ipoh. Kurang sikit darah tinggi aku.

Bak kata mak sedaraku,

Tak perlu nak berbangga dengan kereta mahal di dunia, kerana akhirnya nanti, kita akan bergerak di dalam keranda jua.



Cik Atun: Mulakan dengan bahasa Inggeris kerana ingin mengelak daripada mengeluarkan kata-kata yang kureng sedap didengar. Kerana tak pandai nak naik angin dalam bahasa Inggeris. Tapi nak buat macam mana. Hati sudah membara.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Very funny felines in the wee hours of the morning

Okay. Maybe not in the wee hours literally... 7.20 am in the morning was not that early. Hahah~ XD

I left house a bit later than usual, having overslept for 10 minutes instead of my usual waking up time. Of course, knowing that you were late you tend to step on the fuel even more than usual. [Oh, I did every time]

I was about to do so when I spotted Oreo [a kucing jalanan which I named after Miss Morbids' Sir Oreo] at the other side of the road.

Staring at the ground.

Or that was I thought he was doing. It was certainly funny a moment later it appears as if he was nodding off, sleeping! OMG, if I had the time to stop and record a video.

Without any of my windows down, I called out for him. I was like,

OREO!

The funny thing was, he raised his head and actually looked at my direction. I had my first LOL moment of the day just by looking at him!

Arriving at the parking lot was another story.

There was this white cat came out from nowhere and just froze at the very spot I had to make a turn. Disbelieving, I honked him but he just stood there, looking at me! I was thinking,

OH MY GOODNESS, what is he doing?!

I had to roll down my window and actually hissed at him so that he get moving.

To make things funnier, he relented only after few attempts of hissing+laughing and to me it was the funniest thing ever! If only I had the time to get my mobile and snapped a picture of that cat!

Those cats really made my day. Ahaha~



Cik Atun: I LOVE cats!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Prosedur Permohonan Perkahwinan Pengantin Perempuan di Perak

Post ini dijanjikan satu ketika dahulu. Tapi baru skang nak buat. Haha~ Sorilah ye.

PERHATIAN: Prosedur ini BENAR bagi bakal pengantin yang pengantin lelakinya orang Perak semata dan kedua-duanya perlulah masih bujang. Harap maaf diatas segala kesulitan.

1st Stop

Kursus Kahwin. Sila hadir dan lulus kursus kahwin, seterusnya dapatkan sijil. Simpan baik baik dalam satu fail. Hendak selamat, buat satu salinan fotokopi dan simpan di tempat lain (seperti pejabat ke).

In case sijil asal ter'hilang', sila quote nombor siri sijil anda di pejabat agama di daerah anda hadirkan diri untuk kursus kawin dan mereka akan keluarkan sijil baru. Tak perlu nak pegi kursus lagi sekali dan membazir lagi RM80.

2nd Stop

Buat ujian HIV. Dan kalau mahu, sekali harung buat ujian thalasemia. Saya tak buat sebab tak sempat.

Sila semak dulu di klinik kesihatan mana yang ada sediakan perkhidmatan ini dan semak hari yang boleh buat. Macam mana? Telefon klinik tersebut atau datang tanya di kaunter pendaftaran.

Bagi sahabat-sahabat di Ipoh, Klinik Kesihatan Greentown tu memang boleh buat. Tapi sila lah pergi ke Klinik Kesihatan Bijih Timah instead, sebab tak ramai orang. 70% kurang pesakit daripada Klinik Kesihatan Greentown.

Cakap dekat kaunter,

Saya nak buat ujian HIV untuk pengantin. 

Dia akan bagi satu borang, isi borang tu. Dan ujian akan dibuat seperti yang pernah dibincangkan dalam post ini.

Jangan lupa ambil kertas result yang diberikan dan simpan elok-elok bersama sijil nikah. Jika rajin, buat salinan.

Bayar RM 1 kepada staff di kaunter jika anda bukan penjawat awam.

3rd Stop

Beli borang kebenaran kahwin di pejabat agama. Pengantin perempuan boleh minta tolong pengantin lelaki belikan sebab borang standard digunakan di Perak. Potong yang mana tidak berkenaan bila mengisi borang tu nanti.

Jika bakal pengantin lelaki anda kemut, hulurla seringgit kat dia suruh dia belikan borang tersebut bagi pihak anda.

Contoh borang:


Selalunya bersama borang ni, pejabat agama akan kepilkan satu borang bewarna hijau untuk permohonan kad akuan nikah, surat akuan bermastautin dan borang wakalah wali. Tapi tertakluk juga pada pejabat tersebut dia nak bagi or taknak. Anda juga boleh minta kalau dia tak bagi. I suppose. Huhu.

4th Stop

Buat surat akuan bujang. Dalam surat tu, nyatakan nama penuh seperti dalam IC, nombor IC, jawatan dan tempat bekerja. Minta majikan anda tandatangan.

Alternatively, boleh minta ketua kampung atau pegawai masjid kariah sahkan anda masih bujang.

Simpan surat tersebut dengan selamat. Buat salinan jika perlu.

5th Stop

GESA pengantin lelaki supaya isi dan hantar borang-borang dia siap dengan dokumen sokongan untuk dapatkan kelulusan. Jangan lupa bagi dia 2 keping salinan IC anda supaya dia boleh berbuat demikian.

Tunggu sampai dia dapat kelulusan.

6th Stop

Minta borang pengantin lelaki yang sudah diluluskan. Simpan di tempat yang selamat. Isi borang kebenaran berkahwin anda seperti yang dikehendaki, sila bagi perhatian kepada ejaan dan alamat tempat tinggal. Pastikan semuanya tally dengan particulars yang telah diisi oleh pengantin lelaki.

Jangan lupa minta 2 salinan IC daripada pengantin lelaki. Selain itu, anda juga kena buat:-

  • 2 salinan IC untuk diri sendiri
  • 2 salinan IC untuk wali
  • 2 salinan IC untuk setiap saksi. Maka sepatutnya ada 4 salinan in total.
  • 1 salinan sijil Kursus Perkahwinan

Sertakan juga:-

  • Surat akuan bujang
  • Surat Pengesahan Pemeriksaan HIV yang anda sudahpun buat

Isi:-

  • Surat akuan bermastautin dengan tepat. Tulis alamat dengan betul untuk elakkan delay dalam memproses permohonan anda.
  • Borang wakalah wali walaupun wali anda adalah bapa anda sendiri, bukan wali hakim. Pendek kata, kalau anda pengantin perempuan, anda memang perlu isi borang ini.

Sebelum anda hantar borang permohonan dan dokumen sokongan, SEMAK dahulu supaya semua details yang dimasukkan betul.

Pastikan anda sain di tempat yang betul dan di semua tempat yang memerlukan sain anda.

7th Stop

Hantar segala borang dan dokumen sokongan kepada pejabat agama. Proses ini, disebabkan saya mohon pertolongan ayah, jadi tak dapat nak ulas panjang-panjang. Tup-tup dah siap dan lengkap. TQ ayah!

Jadi saya tidaklah tahu menahu kena dengar penjelasan ke, jumpa tok kadi ke... Tapi seingat saya, ayah ada bayar sejumlah yuran kepada pejabat agama.

So, moral of the story, sila bawa duit semasa penyerahan borang permohonan anda.

8th Stop

Gears up for the big day!!!!


Selamat mencuba.



Cik Atun: Tepat, ringkas dan padat.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Fire Alarm

Malaysia, in general, is certainly not the worse when it comes to safety awareness. But if I had to compare the practice here with one of the least known capital city in the UK (read Cardiff), I think Malaysia (or Ipoh, more specifically) has a very loooooooooooooooooooooooong way to go.

Why am I writing about this?

Well.

The fire alarm went off approximately at 11 a.m. at my office. Upon hearing the alarm, I grabbed my phone and wallet, which were on my table and dashed out as quick as I can possibly be.

Imagine my dissappointment when I opened the door.

Alarm ni betul ke apa ni?

That was the first question I heard from a colleague. She was standing there with her palms on her hip.

I certainly didn't blame her. Adding this morning's happening, there were 4 false alarms in the span of 3 weeks!

Quoting another colleague,

Kalau asyik macam ni, bila jadi betul - betul kebakaran kang kita buat tak kisah je.

Oh well. I give her my two cents.

Kalau betul-betul jadi, dah rentung la kita ni.

I remember I had to run for my life when a fire alarm goes off in a shopping mall in Cardiff. Because everybody does. Turn out it was a pratice done by the fire brigade. And they confirmed that not a single soul was left inside.

I wonder when will we achieve this level of safety awareness.



Cik Atun: Should I yell FIRE! when the false alarm went off again? I wonder...

Monday, January 3, 2011

Jealousy

Jealousy is a very funny thing. I wasn't someone who just get jealous over something easily. And yet, the trait doesn't come easily. It took a whole lot of bittersweet experiences [mainly bitter ones, trust me] to overcome this destructive behavior.

What a dramatic entry opening 'sequence'. LOL.

Anyway. Actually, when I was wayyyy younger [read 14-16 years old], I was a very hot-tempered young woman. I was angry for nothing, sceptical about every single thing in the world. And I was naturally a green-eyed monster as well.

One day, I 'fell' for a super cute guy [or that was what I perceived him as at that time]. Let's call him Mr. Crush. I like him, very much so. And when I heard news of someone else, from my batch, like him too... I was jealous. For what, I myself wasn't very clear now... but I remember being so green with envy spoilt the relationship between me and that particular friend.

If I could turn back time...


I would never changed everything that had happened anyway. Haha~ Funny, because I think this certain experience shaped up the person I became. Me.

But if I was given the opportunity, I would love to travel back. Just to look at myself years back, from afar. Just wanted to see how naive I was back then.

I would love to hug myself too, even though I was almost 100% positive that the 'me' at that time would be so freaked out seeing this chubby-full-of-fat-me from the future. Heheh.

Ok. Back to the story. I was so jealous, I didn't talk to the friend, and she didn't talk to me as well anyway. Until one day, I overheard some folks talking... Apparently Mr. Crush had his own crush.

So my heart was shuttered into a thousand pieces hearing the unexpected news. Funny thing is, I didn't not felt any jealousy towards the crush he was having. Again, I wasn't entirely sure why.

But I liked him anyway. For 4 freaking long years.

On one fine day, all the feelings pent up inside were neutralised. I don't know how time did it, but it was done anyway. All the bitterness, the jealousy, the attraction, it was all gone. Vanished into the thin air.

Thinking about it now, I knew by heart that I would never, ever regretted things I had done or said regarding this 'Mr. Crush'. He was one of the memories I held dear in my heart. After all, he was the first person I was attracted to, as a woman, I thought, at that point of time.

Alas, God had better future laid out for me.

Fate is really a funny thing. I let go of Mr. Crush [he never did hold on to me anyway] and rediscover the tall, lanky guy who sat literally next to me for the whole year of 2000 wasn't any ordinary tall and lanky guy.

Who would had ever imagine, in their wildest dream, that he would be my beloved husband?

I NEVER had imagined that. To be perfectly honest.

Why? Because he was seeing another at that time. I was still as amused as ever even while typing this. He got his own story too... and it was even more complicated than mine. LOL

Ok. End of flashback. Enter end of year 2010, precisely on 30th December 2010. I am En. Q rightfully wedded wife. He is my rightful husband.

Now that's established... we went to Jusco just to see how much they slashed the price for the new year celebration. And we were not even amused. Especially me, who felt a little nauseous because of the amount of people occupying per meter square of the shopping mall floor. Plus their respectives smell too. T_T

Anyway, it was late. We would not make it home for Asar prayers so we decided to pray before we went back. As usual, En. Q finished his before I did, because when I walked out of the surau he was already waiting.

He held out his hand and I took it. With a happy smile on my face, of course. Then suddenly I noticed there's a small, cute woman who was directly in front of us. She was smiling so widely I wonder if her muscle doesn't get twisted by the effort.

And from my point of view she was smiling hugely at my husband!

I was so tempted to ask En. Q,

Do you know her?

But the question wasn't raised because we walked passed her. I was like, okayyyy, clutched his arm tightly and walked away. Then suddenly...

Awak..!!!

I literally felt my blood boiled. I turned around, forcing En. Q to stop. I looked at the woman in question and was about to say somehing when another man approached her with an arguably huge smile on his face.

Awak kenapa?

En. Q asked.

I looked at him. I knew I frowned.

Because I just discovered the green-eyed monster in me again. This time, it was even more powerful than ever. [Sigh] So I told En. Q.

Orang ingat perempuan tu senyum kat sayang.

He frowned for short seconds and smiled his usual charming smile.

Sebab tu ke awak toleh tengok die tadi? Awak ni... sebelum ni tak pernah jeles pun.

I won't deny your claim dear husband, because it was the truth.

But unfortunately, you are my husband now, not my 'boyfriend' anymore, so I have the right to get jealous whenever I felt like having the fit. Okay?




Jealousy is indeed a funny thing.

Blergghhhh.



Cik Atun: Feels like typing in English. I never thought my skill was deterioting this bad!
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